Although overcast showed eminent signs of rain, Marie looked down from the second story building window at friends enjoying their midday cigarettes. Her arms were crossed, wrapped tightly around her torso. She wondered if she should pick up smoking. Greg sat with her in the empty office room and it was almost quiet except Greg’s frantic typing echoed into the halls. One would come upon them and sense a sort of urgency in the room, but this was not true. Although both had much to do, Marie tussled a rubber band between her wrists, and stretched it out as if to aim at the fat pimple on Greg’s chin. Just then she felt the hurricane brewing in her belly and released a boisterous burp.
“Gross,” Greg said.
“Sorry Greg, my breakfast just wanted to say hello to you.”
“Well I like my air breathing space ‘Marie-Breakfast-Food’ free.”
She laughed and spun around a couple times in her chair. Unfinished assignments scattered the table before her and would probably be left untouched. She wore a big green sweater, tugged on the sleeves past her knuckles and pulled the collar up over her nose. It felt colder in the empty office room today. They live where there is an unexplainable sense of winter. It became a new place recognized by a characteristic taste of cool and a characteristic gray sky. She pit-patted a kind of beat on her thighs to ruin the silence. Greg was tentatively working behind his computer but looked up over the screen to smile at the noises she was making,
“If you fall I will catch you I will be waiting! Time after time….time after time…time after time.” She wasn’t trying to sing. She sounded awful.
“Oh encore! Encore!”, Greg praised and pantomimed wiping tears from his eyes. She took a bow and basked in the silly moment, but quickly lost her tug of war with Greg’s homework. His back was erect and tense as he furiously typed away on the computer. An analysis on A Brave New World wasn’t going to write itself. She then noticed what Greg was wearing. He always pressed his shirts. Today was no different except he put a pressed red vest on top of his pressed shirt.
“What do you want, Greg?”
“I want love and marriage.” Marie scoffed at his outlandish reply. She meant from the vending machine. Intrigued, however, she pursued the conversation,
“Ok, who do you want to love and marry?”
“Someone like Lenina Crowne.”
“Someone like who?”
“Well, someone a little unorthodox and sexy.”
“I’m unorthodox and sexy. How come no one wants to marry me?”
Greg just smiled and didn’t answer the question. This only bothered Marie a little bit. It had only been something she said in hopes of making him smile…and she did so she figured there was no need for anything else.
Marie spun around more and stared at the stucco ceiling above her. Certain figures made themselves present and she pointed them out to Greg. He did his “mm-hms” from behind the computer but showed no real interest in what she was talking about. Marie knew this and wanted to talk so she brought up a topic of greater interest than stucco,
“So whatever happened to Bethany?”
“Um, I don’t know. I like her but she’s different. ”
“Did you fuck her?”
They craned necks into each opened room and corridor as if to be certainly positive the answer to follow this question would only be heard between them two,
“Yes,” he replied in a short and thick voice. With that they spiraled into uncontrollable laughter.
She made him tell her every detail, and although he protested like he didn’t want to, he only hesitated two minutes before he had her dying of laughter,
“I mean, after we…did it…she might as well have been my dog, you know?”
He said it jokingly but she heard a different kind of despondent tone in his voice. There was something this girl did that had an affect on him. Most girls didn’t seem like they bothered Greg after very long because a loss of interest was eventual. Greg and Marie are what are known as avid daters. They have a friend who has said they are different because normal people like to be in relationships, but neither of them have ever been in one. When this friend asked what’s wrong with them, they both replied on top of each others’ words ,
“I’m picky. Jinx! You owe me a coke!”
Well it was this knowledge of her kindred friendship with Greg that made Marie hate Bethany. In spite of certain anger growing inside her, she wondered if Greg was okay and grimaced a little at her unresponsive friend. What Marie didn’t realize yet was she was not okay. A certain void was filled with the comfort of having a friend like Greg. They were beneficiaries, but that was a taboo between the two of them. No, they don’t hold each other and kiss, but what they had to benefit from the other was that sense of comfort. That sense was beginning to lose itself and Marie blamed that Bethany bitch.
“Well my paper isn’t done but class started five minutes ago. I’m blaming you because I don’t want to blame myself. That’s okay with you, right my love?”
“I love you, too,” Marie said in a pass.
“What?”
“I mean…go to class,” Marie said trying to recover.
“Well, where’s my hug?”
They embraced and her stomach turned a little the way it did when she was a freshman in high school and first hugged the senior quarterback of the school’s football team. Greg told her how much he loved her perfume and darted off shouting he’d call her later that night. She was alone for a good while in the office and had actually finished most of her homework for lack of better things to do. A couple hours passed before her friend Jeff came into the office. Jeff was someone she’d fooled around with before but could never feel comfortable around. In other words, he gave her the right drinks and got lucky.
“Have you had dinner yet? Want to grab a quick bite with me?”
She hated when people asked two questions in a row assuming the answer to the first question. She didn’t eat dinner yet but since the question thing irritated her, she said she did. Jeff lingered around in the office, so she decided it was time for her to go home. It had barely began to sprinkle outside and the scent of rain tingled her senses. She laughed because Greg told her one time that the scent of rain makes girls horny.
She drove to her parents’ house and ate that meal she lied about earlier. She wandered around aimlessly, poking at the fish in their tank every now and then. After some time, she turned on the computer and signed on to her Facebook account to discover a very confusing update,
“Greg is now in a relationship”
She stared at the screen a moment. Her hand gently shook on the mouse and it slowly elevated up to her lips. She chewed on her nails. She tightly squeezed her eyes shut and filled her entire body with air and let out an exasperated exhale. She longed for a “dislike” button. She signed off and felt an urge to pace, so she did. She paced the floor of her parents guest-slash-computer room and muttered inaudible phrases about what she had left to do today and how she’d never get them done if she let this bother her and how furthermore it shouldn’t even bother her in the first place. It did though and the rest of the day became a blur. She woke in the morning completely unprepared and unwilling to do anything, but halfway made it out of the house in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
“God damn Bethany and her long shiny hair. I shouldn’t have cut my hair.” This was predominantly on Marie’s mind on her drive to school. Greg had told her once he liked her long hair better. She was beating herself up over it and debating calling a hairstylist. Extensions might work, but would she come off as superficial? She then remembered the committee meeting she had to attend today, and this created a domino affect…There was a physiology test on Tuesday, she had a presentation in her public speaking class Wednesday, the club she attended was bothering her to collect donations from local businesses, she had to figure out the library hours for studying in between her shifts at work this week…Oh, and she couldn’t forget her uncle was coming to town on Thursday night. Her mom had asked she make sure to…
“Hey babe.”
She’d become so distracted by her thoughts and tunnel vision, she didn’t realize she nearly trampled over Anthony. Anthony is her boy who is a friend because he said he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Anthony was her something complicated. She didn’t mind it too much because she at least knew they cared about each other. She didn’t even mind sometimes when he was needy and needed her like a girlfriend. She would be that for him in spite of the specifications on what they really were. It was no matter though because she liked his style. Anthony wore v-necks and tight pants, had a beard, played in a band, made her laugh and could kiss. In other words, an A plus in Marie’s book.
“Oh jeez, hey you!”
“You feeling alright?” Anthony asked.
“Me? Yes. No. I don’t know. I’m fine. It was a hectic night. Know how it is…”
“I guess, so what are you up to tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow I’ve got class from nine to three and work from four to ten. Why?”
He kind of sighed and she knew what he was going to say so she said it for him,
“I know I know, I do too much. I’ll be off on Saturday. Let’s catch up then?
“Yeah okay.”
They embraced and she told him how much she loved the cologne he wears and darted in the opposite direction shouting she’d text him later. She took her seat in Biology 221 and wondered where Greg was. He didn’t come to class and she felt very angry with him. She called his phone to cuss him out for being an irresponsible student, but she was mostly upset because she had so many questions that would still remain unanswered.
Some time had passed and Marie was in the library looking over her notes for class and decided to call it a day. She stuck her cell phone in her right pocket and put it up to the loudest volume for fear of missing Greg’s call. Even later still, she was having dinner with her silent phone just adjacent to her glass of milk. Even more time passed and she was in her pajamas in front of the computer.
“Greg has uploaded two new pictures,” Facebook said. They were of him and Bethany. Marie really wanted a “dislike” button. Then her phone rang!
“Call from Anthony,” her cell phone said. She answered and loved that she did. She really does care about him and appreciated the laughs he made her laugh. She crawled into bed and had soon fallen asleep for what seemed like weeks. She slept deep and long and woke not by the alarm clock, but by the sun peering in through her curtains. She smiled and felt good.
She made a scrambled egg and toast breakfast, read the newspaper and figured out four of the answers on the cross word puzzle. Her days went by and she would see Anthony and it would be a good day. Then her phone rang!
“Call from Greg,” her cell phone said. She answered and he was upset. He sounded on the verge of tears and told her how Bethany was moving to another state and broke it off with him,
“She said it wouldn’t be worth it to even try anymore. We’re nothing special that‘s worth headache.” Poor Greg, she thought. She wanted to say something a couple times, but he had so much more to say. She let him slur his feelings until he was weak. He was drunk on misery. Then silence came and she took her opportunity to calm him with calming advice,
“Just forget about her. You have no idea how much more you deserve.” She said this almost in vain. She wanted him to see what was right in front of him.
Then something stupid happened,
“I want to be with you,” Greg said.
She wondered what he meant by that for a moment and remained silent. She knew this is what she wanted, but also knew they loved each other for themselves. She ended the conversation with the request of meeting in their empty office. The time from the end of that phone call to the trip to their empty office proved plenty. Marie thought about Greg and wondered the best way to disclose her feelings. In the office already was Greg. She knew instantly he was a pathetic mess. She knew he needed her, but she could only be what she’d always been,
“No Greg, you don’t want to be with me. You’re vulnerable right now and want to fill that void with me, but it’s not me. I’m not for you and you’re not for me.”
“But Anthony can be such a jerk to you.”
“No he’s not. I like him and I like how we are so that’s none of your concern, right my love?”
“I love you, too.”
“Greg, shut up.”
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