I Don't Want To Stop

I feel as if I'm bursting at the seams. There's a hurricane in my belly and the storm's eye is a sort of deception I fall into. There's this massive sense of being undone that wants to tear me apart. It is what it does and I do not want it to. I want to do me. It's so important and I don't see a solution it seems like. I constantly feel like something pushes me the other way. Like when you rub against something soft but in the other direction it's harsh and hurts a little bit. I'm longing for that sensation of comfort and trust in myself. I know it's capable and isn't very difficult. I don't want to stop. But here I go.