In A Real Way

Something happened today. Well...something happens everyday, but this was something that really drove me up the wall. I'd like to think I'd be someone who can cope in stressful situations if a stressful situation called for coping...but I very well may be that person flailing into the dark when there is an emergency in progress. I don't know, being responsible can be hard. Sometimes I just don't want to be. I want to not care and have nobody notice. This thing by the by was me losing my wallet. It was actually one of the scariest feelings I've ever felt. I truly saw myself in a moment and how vulnerable I felt. The only part of the whole thing that I liked was how I quickly just accepted it. I got over it and said, "Well now what?" Still though, I realized how easy it is to get so caught up in superficial problems. I wish I wasn't so vain. And I mean that. I can be narcistic and proud to the fullest potential of their definitions, but that doesn't bother me as much as vanity does. There's just some thing kind of dirty about its connotation. Anyways, it made me feel vain. Like this problem was of ridiculous merit. It isn't though. Things just are and will keep happening. This idea is so nice. It makes things feel like oblongs of soft colors in a rainy park. Like someone who tips their hat to you and cheers to your health. Like your walls are your favorite paintings and the floor a game of checkers your winning. It's so easy to make things easy. It's just a matter of doing it. Watch me. You'll know it by smile and happy tune in my mouth.